I could have fun with a real estate site. It would get sued – I’d call it SlumLordAndLady.com.au but it would be a hoot!
Why not just tag these ones with “humour” and change the puky green menu bar to some lovely colour with smiley faces on it, so we all know it’s not real? Then leave it be? gosh I have so many ideas for how to build community around classifieds. I really need to concentrate though…
Property ID: 2006832414
Kirribilli House: OPEN FOR INSPECTION sorry OPEN FOR ELECTION
Impressive waterfront views! Poised on the top of a hill and the envy of many onlookers, this two storey house is a residence of power. Far superior to any old Lodge in Canberra, this house fits a family of five and provides the ultimate abode in which to be relaxed and comfortable.
* Breathtaking views of Sydney’s beautiful harbour
* Perfect place to view Sydney’s fireworks – especially during events like the APEC long weekend
* Ideal for extra-curricular fundraising activities
* Includes a $200 000 set of executive chairs (not from IKEA!)
* Plans for $500 000+ renovation of the dining room to re-enact the predicted last supper
* Uses 28 times more water than the average Sydney household – one of few properties that can be credited for creating its own mini-drought
* Current occupant considering a move even if a new lease is signed
* A million dollar garden ($1 118 000 million over 6 years) with no worms (well not the kind that gets turned of mid-debate during 60 minutes)
* Recently received a $386 500 security upgrade that unfortunately doesn’t stop fireball wielding psychos
* Price negotiable just like your Work Choices employment contract… NOT
* Neighbours you know and trust – ‘you can’t help but love Maxine’
The Lodge: Live centre stage in Canberra!
You can’t go past this bargain in the nation’s capital. It’s not often an opportunity like this comes along. While it doesn’t have the sweeping harbour views of Kirribilli House, you’ll also be at home in this residence of power.
* Owner selling off assets in an effort to go out with a bang
* Tried twice before to evict the current tenant and its looking like it’s third time lucky
* Long-term occupancy available (depending on your accountant’s or treasurer’s plans)
* Needs a good clean and the lawn mowed all these with a lawn mower for less than $2000: tenant barely there
* Recently refurbished reception areas
* Trying to save $7500 of tax payer funds for every flight between Canberra and Sydney and another $7500 for a VIP jet to return empty
* Dial-up internet access only – ‘broadband is just a fad’ – two hours to download a YouTube clip is not a big ask, is it?
* Neighbours you know and trust – ‘as if’
Act now, it’s only a matter of time before interest rates go up again… and again… and maybe even again. Particularly given there is a greater chance of Australia signing the Kyoto protocol or saying ‘sorry’ than housing ever being affordable in this lifetime.
Written, spoken and authorised by The People of Australia for the People of Australia. Please note this advertisement was not funded by 70% of labour’s union officials and did not cost taxpayers anything. Your money is only being used to pay for empty private jets, $500 million dollars in advertising to secure your vote in the last week of the election and the usual election sweeteners recently announced.
Digital Mischief http://tinyurl.com/yqqv6b
I checked and I think Digital Mischief are based at Sydney Uni.
By the way, does anyone have a floorplan for Kirribili House? Please don’t ask me what for, but I promise that I’m not casing the joint.